I'm coming up to some major crossroads in my life.. and my days are quite scary, quite daunting, quite exciting, but also.. through everything God gives me peace. I was talking with a friend about how when you might feel like you're in a boat out at sea in amongst a storm and you don't know where is north, where is south, its just darkness and all you can see is the rain.. yet in these times, we can have peace that comes from knowing that God is so much bigger than us, so much bigger than the storm.. and he is protecting, and guiding us. And that no matter where we end up, he will still be there, and he will still be bigger and greater than anything!

It is difficult when trying to make decisions, especially for me, because I always just want to please people.. I hate to see people upset or worried about things I might be doing. But at the same time, I think that in these times God is really teaching me what is it to trust him.. and that maybe this is more like how my life will be in the future. People will not also understand why we do things, or what we are doing.. but if it is something that God calls us to do.. then it is completely the best thing for us. Without a doubt. I mean... God will always use us, no matter where we are, but I believe he does have special plans for each of us.

"I get to love you through whatever comes.. what a privilege.. how sweet it is.."

Please pray for clarity from God.. pray that I might be able to distinguish between wisdom, and between feelings of fear..

Thank-you so much

Proverbs 16:9

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps

Counting the cost..

Today in church, there was a preach about counting the cost.. about how faith, if it is real faith, costs something. Sitting there listening to him, I was hearing things that I already knew, but it suddenly struck me how easy it is to become comfortable. How in just a few months of living back in europe, the luxuries of life had almost taken over again and I was in danger of living with a very luke-warm faith! I realised that I was walking down the path towards what was my biggest fear after leaving Chile! There is nothing I want more than to live with every part of my life for my Jesus.. but actually.. I am seeing that just to want that, does not make it easy.. just to want something does not make it happen.

I am praying that God would teach me what it means to put Him first again.. and I am aware that this is one of those "dangerous prayers" that if you pray them, bad things could come around the corner. But the thing is, when I sing things like 'Jesus I give you my life' or 'I give you my dreams' I REALLY do mean it! But them somehow, once I have left church, I lose this heavenly perspective again.. or.. I don't know. But sometimes it is so easy to forget the promises that are said in the heart. So I am asking God to teach me, and am putting it in His hands.. if there are things in my life that may come between us, I ask that He might take them away. I am sure that He will not forget!!

This year, if I had to choose one thing that I have learnt, it would be that there is nothing else worth living for apart from God. He is the only one who will not leave me, or who will not let me down. Yet I find myself now, living for myself. How foolish!

God.. today things change. Change me. Do whatever you need to do.

"I don't want to talk about you, like you're not in the room.. I want to look right at you, I want to sing right to you.."

"I'm giving you my heart.. and all that is within.. I'm laying it all down.. for the sake of you my king. I'm giving you my dreams.. I'm laying down my rights.. I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life.. I surrender all to you"

"You won't relent until you have it all.. my heart is yours.."

"love that is a strong as death, jealousy demanding as the grave, and many waters cannot quench this love"

"vengo ante ti postrado.. con todo mi ser te quiero ver.. TUYO SOY SENOR.. mi vida pongo en tus manos."

"clame...... me oiste"

"he is jealous for me.."

"there is no love, sweeter than the love you pour on me"

"all to you, I surrender.. everything.. every part of me"

"Senor conoces mi corazon.. "

"here you are... beautiful one, who came like the sun.. here you are.. so we lift up our voices, open our hands, to CLING TO THE LOVE THAT WE CANNOT COMPREHEND.."

"He is the remedy.."

1 Peter 4:2

From NOW ON then, you must live the REST OF YOUR EARTHY LIVES controlled by God's will and NOT by human desires."