Counting the cost..

Today in church, there was a preach about counting the cost.. about how faith, if it is real faith, costs something. Sitting there listening to him, I was hearing things that I already knew, but it suddenly struck me how easy it is to become comfortable. How in just a few months of living back in europe, the luxuries of life had almost taken over again and I was in danger of living with a very luke-warm faith! I realised that I was walking down the path towards what was my biggest fear after leaving Chile! There is nothing I want more than to live with every part of my life for my Jesus.. but actually.. I am seeing that just to want that, does not make it easy.. just to want something does not make it happen.

I am praying that God would teach me what it means to put Him first again.. and I am aware that this is one of those "dangerous prayers" that if you pray them, bad things could come around the corner. But the thing is, when I sing things like 'Jesus I give you my life' or 'I give you my dreams' I REALLY do mean it! But them somehow, once I have left church, I lose this heavenly perspective again.. or.. I don't know. But sometimes it is so easy to forget the promises that are said in the heart. So I am asking God to teach me, and am putting it in His hands.. if there are things in my life that may come between us, I ask that He might take them away. I am sure that He will not forget!!

This year, if I had to choose one thing that I have learnt, it would be that there is nothing else worth living for apart from God. He is the only one who will not leave me, or who will not let me down. Yet I find myself now, living for myself. How foolish!

God.. today things change. Change me. Do whatever you need to do.